Into The Fray
by Tony McD
Summary: Xander looks back at his life post 'Grave'.


Title: Into the Fray  
  
Authors: Mike and Tony McD  
  
Rating: G  
  
Category: angst/season 7 AU (kinda)  
  
Pairings: Buffy/Willow, Xander/Dawn  
  
Summary: Xander looks back at life post 'Grave'.  
  
Distribution: Go for it, just tell me where.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, the Vampire Slayer nor do I own any other characters. This is a work of fiction written for fun and enjoyment.  
  
******************  
  
XANDER  
  
Well, they're special. No doubt. And the amazing thing is, not one of them will ever know. Not even Buffy.   
  
DAWN  
  
Know what?   
  
XANDER  
  
How much harder it is for the rest of us.  
  
DAWN  
  
No way, they've got the --  
  
XANDER  
  
Seven years, Dawn. Working with the Slayer, watching my friends become more and more powerful... a witch, a demon, hell, I could fit Oz in my shaving kit but come the full moon he had wolfy mojo not to be messed with. Powerful, all of them. And I'm the guy fixing the windows.  
  
DAWN  
  
You had that sexy army training for a little while, and, and the windows really do need fixing.  
  
XANDER  
  
I saw what you did last night.  
  
DAWN  
  
I guess I sorta lost my head when I thought I was a Slayer.   
  
XANDER  
  
Thought you were all special. Miss Sunnydale, 2003. And the minute you found out you weren't, you handed the crown over to Amanda without a moment's pause. You gave her your power.   
  
DAWN  
  
Power wasn't mine.   
  
XANDER  
  
They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie. To be the one who isn't chosen; to live so near the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes,  
  
'cause nobody's watching me. I saw you last night, I see you working here today... You're not special. You're extraordinary.  
  
DAWN  
  
Maybe that's your power.   
  
XANDER  
  
What?   
  
DAWN  
  
Seeing. Knowing.   
  
**************  
  
Seeing, knowing, powerlessness. They say that knowledge is power but sometimes, even with all the knowledge in the world, you can still be powerless.  
  
It started that day on the bluff, saving my Willow. I took the hits, knowing that if I followed my heart that love would protect me and save her. And it did. But at a terrible cost.  
  
By stepping in front of Willow's magic, she not only cracked a couple of my ribs, but awakened a terrible power within me that made me even more powerless.  
  
Seeing, knowing.  
  
See all the paths to a fixed future and knowing I was powerless to change the final outcome.  
  
That final outcome was simple. The final battle, the Hellmouth closed, Buffy and Willow dead.  
  
I knew that no matter what I did, no matter what I said, the final outcome would be the same. This dark knowledge ate away at me. My heart of darkness. I kept my silence.  
  
But there was one small upside to seeing and knowing. I could see my friends in a totally new light and know them. Really know them. Know them better than they know themselves.  
  
I could see Dawn's pain, her sense of isolation, her sense of powerlessness. I knew that see needed someone to be there for her. To love and care for her, to tell her she mattered. So I did.  
  
I could also see a point of friction between Buffy and Willow. That there was a way for them to find the true love they had for each other buried deep inside. I couldn't change their final fate, but I could bring them together so that in their last weeks and months they would know true love.  
  
But to do that I had to destroy the one thing that I held closest to my heart.  
  
Our friendship.  
  
I would bring them together in their hatred of me and from there they would see each other in a new light. That light would lead to love.  
  
So I engineered an argument with Buffy and Willow, one guaranteed to expose 'The Lie'. To this day I make no apology for not telling Buffy about Willow trying to re-soul Angelus. If I hadn't then Buffy and the rest of the world would have died. I knew I did the right thing, but I also knew they wouldn't agree.  
  
And they didn't.  
  
It was terrible. Afterwards I sat in my apartment and cried. I had destroyed my friendship with them for love. My love for them. Their love for each other.  
  
I could only watch from a distance as they drew closer together. Their looks of love for each other. Their tender moments together in the maelstrom of the last days. For the first time, they were truly happy. I prayed that, when it was all said and done, they would understand. And one day forgive me.  
  
They died together as I had seen foreseen. The final apocalyptic battle. The Hellmouth closed and with it my power of seeing and knowing. Of all who fought that final battle, only Dawn and I survived.  
  
Looking back it was only natural that, having been through so much together, sharing the grief of the loss of the same loved ones, we would eventually be drawn together.  
  
Over the years came first children, then grandchildren. Now, almost twenty years after my beloved Dawn passed away, I hold the tiny hands of my great grandchildren as they ask me why I am crying.  
  
It's been 70 years since the final battle closed that chapter of my life. But with a visit from Buffy opened a new chapter. Buffy came to see me in my dreams. Came to tell me things so that I could see, so that I could know.  
  
There will be a time in the distant future when once again the need for a Slayer to be called will come. That Slayer will come from within the bloodlines of my children and their descendants.  
  
Once again I am powerless to do anything. The Watchers Council was shattered and I am the last Scooby. My remaining time is short.  
  
All I can do is tell my great grandchildren the story. The story of Buffy and the Scooby Gang, and how together, we stepped into the fray. 


End file.
